Buddhism, chakra science, life, love, miscellaneous maunderings, spiritual consumers, western yoga, yoga, yoga science, yoga transformation

Selling me Enlightenment

In the western world, yoga is a ‘growth industry’. So I am not surprised when people try to sell me yoga spin-offs…or yoga itself. In their exuberance and desire to share, they might forget that they can’t sell me what I already own. Yet I get it, and am glad they are excited enough to even try.

I’d take a pair of PF Flyers. Sometimes I do. I like them and am glad to be sold a pair. Oh, hold it…you don’t need to sell PF Flyers…they sell themselves…kinda like yoga does. They could sell me a chance to dance under the summer sky as well – but I already do.

unicorn stars

I know a woman who is the perfect enlightenment consumer. She travels all over the world, attending classes and course and seminars on stuff like tantric massage, non-dualism, whatever seems to interest her. She buys beads and yoga classes and Esalen courses like they are going out of style. She could probably feed an entire African village on the money she spends yearly on this stuff.

Still, I’m down. It’s her money and she earned it. I might do the same if I was as monetarily ‘rich’ as she was (is). Might. I might buy me some new mala beads, or pay to go to one of those groovy juice cleanses, or take a course on manifesting the Divine through my eyes and smile. Maybe. Or maybe I’d just buy an apple or some PF Flyers.


It used to kind of freak me out how our Noble Path has become littered with billboards selling hints on how to get further down the path. Sometimes those commercial come-ons are planted right in the middle of the path. Yeah, it used to freak me out, kind of like selling sex does. I found it slightly abhorrent, a bit tawdry, and generally in poor taste.

See, the merchants trying to sell me these beads and trinkets were…merchants. When I considered their words, I also observed their eyes. Did the products they tried to sell me work for them? Were their lives visibly improved by the products they were selling?  Quite often they had that same look all salesmen have, no matter what they are selling.


These days, I am quite a bit more open to what they are selling, and the fact they are selling it. After all, they have to eat too. I remain less enthusiastic about being sold something. Once again, a caveat – I get it. Selling something of real value (like yoga or associated ‘products’) is perhaps even helpful. I am quite sure I would benefit from these offerings. Yet in the end, I see the money I might spend as a new set of drums for a young drummer, or as broccoli when I most need it, or maybe a new pair of PF Flyers.

From my words above, I can see that while those merchants might be sellers, I am somewhat of a consumer; I evaluate products and their worth, look for the best buy, for the ‘most bang for my buck’ (even though I don’t want bangs and have few bucks to spend on anything superfluous). So I find when I ‘point a finger’ at merchants, I am also pointing at myself; when I look askance at those sellers, I am pointing my skepticism at myself.

Some of the people ostensibly ‘selling’ to me are merely offering products they found helpful themselves, and they have a desire to share that with others. Some work on a ‘commission’ of helpfulness, of spreading knowledge and healing. They may get some money as an epiphenomenon (sort of a residual result of their actions). They may use money to signify the exchange of energy. In those cases, unabashed mercantilism is a bit more palatable, makes quite a bit more sense.

They know I am a ‘poor’ yogi, somewhat of a renunciate…but still they try. Kundalini classes, cleanses, ecstatic dance (as if I need to be sold that, which to me is natural). They do it in good faith and with an open heart. They never ‘hard sell’…and on consideration, most of them don’t really sell at all. They simply offer, offer what is indubitably a good deal.

So where does the ‘problem’ lie…in their innocent (and perhaps ingrained) commercialism, or in my (quite possibly unreasonable) resistance to that perceived commercialism? Who knows? As an author, I can rarely give concrete answers, just ask questions…or simply state my viewpoint of the moment, allow the thought-clouds to drift away through the world, released from the expansive confines of my mind.


I wrote a blog about ‘Selling Yoga’ a few years back. Since, I may have refined my views on the subject (as I may later on this one). It’s an ongoing process, revising and refining my perspective. What seems true today may seem like horse dung tomorrow; it’s the way of the world, dontcha know? So I just blab these thoughts out in words, and later read and consider them. Sometimes it seems like someone else wrote those words, someone slightly (or totally) ridiculous. Sometimes it seems like someone fairly wise wrote them.


To paraphrase a famous quote (whose author I forget at the moment), how will I know what I think unless I say it? How can I examine what I ostensibly think unless I put it out there for later consideration and assessment? Sort of an odd logic, but somehow relevant despite that. So I say stuff, any crazy old thing that pops into my head, or piques my attention and demands my consideration. Then I regard what I have said..does it ring true? What are other valid viewpoints on this subject? Are any viewpoints or insights more valuable than another? I don’t know, but still I do it.

So here I am, about to embark on another great day, full of play and laughter, full of fun. Along the way, I may get a glimpse of enlightenment. Most likely I will not buy or rent it from others. I don’t want their brand of enlightenment, but my own (even if it is a poor facsimilie for the real thing).


Give me something, freely offered, and I will gladly accept (assuming it is worth having). Share ideas, concepts, or action that may be helpful to me, and I’m down. Try to sell me something, and I will most likely RUN. Or resist. It’s just me..being the current version of me.

me 4

Buddhism, chakra science, hot yoga, life, love, meditation, miscellaneous maunderings, Uncategorized, vinyasa yoga, western yoga, yoga, yoga science, yoga transformation

‘Hot’ Yogis and ‘Vinyasa’ Yogis

I spent about six years doing daily classes of Vinyasa yoga (well, Ashtanga to be more specific). Sometimes before my morning flow(s), I’d take a hot class. Recently (the last two years) I have been taking ‘hot’ (what used to be called ‘Bikram’) yoga classes almost exclusively. The differences between the two (and the people who gravitate to one or the other) seem at first glance substantial, but let’s explore this further…

During this time (mentioned above), I noticed some ostensible differences between those who regularly attend hot classes and those who attend ‘flow’ classes. Before I get into those perceived differences, let me first share my own experience, and then let’s focus on the commonalities between the two.

In my initial experience, I first found ‘hot’ yoga to be, well…too hot. It also seemed far too regimented to me, with a defined and basically never-changing sequence. How was one to find and express bhakti or samadhi under these conditions? Contributing to my initial reservations, Bikram Choudry had ‘patented’ this ancient warm-up sequence, and even the dialog associated with it. The fact he was later accused of violating the sexual spaces of his students somehow added (illogically or not) to my growing aversion.

After six or so years of Vinyasa, I sort of ‘forced’ myself to go and see what was up with this almost cultish group of people. I sensed that in avoiding these types of classes, or in my nascent ‘aversion’ to them, I was missing a key yogic lesson. So I decided to immerse in it, see what I could learn, what I could experience, what ‘truths’ (or insights) might reveal themselves to me in the course of this journey.

What I discovered was (as with almost all life)  not what I had expected or perceived from the outside looking in. At first, it seemed incredibly hard. Not the postures (essentially basic), but the durn old heat…the sweat dripping into my face and nostrils, pressing on me palpably, like a closely fitting (smothering?) hot air suit, or the embrace of the mythical Satan (or Looficer, as I prefer to call this idea, as the dyslexic satanists do). It was just so darn triggering…it reminded me of Djibouti, Somalia, Iraq, Kuwait, Quatar…super hot places (in the now common parlance of P.T.S.D. and ‘veterans issues’, it ‘triggered’ me…or tried to). I could feel my H.P.A. (hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal) axis fire up, giving me P.T.S.D.-like symptoms. I could feel my mind and memories (or my amygdala and hippocampus, to be more precise) trying to ‘go back’ to those memories, not all good.

It was hard to find time or ‘head-space’ (heart space) to be filled with gratitude, with devotion in the midst of all that heat and potential triggering. It was hard enough to stay focused, maintain my calm breath (and thus mind) and ‘do the drill.’ I was much more soothed by my home Kundalini or Yin practices. What was so good about this nonsense? Why was I even here?

The people seemed super-focused, almost grim in their concentration, determination, and almost religious attendance (and adherence to rituality). We didn’t ‘OM’ or talk about ‘spiritual stuff’ much, as we typically did in Vinyasa classes. The people seemed more there to ‘sweat it out’, more focused on using outer strength or Yang energy to get there, when Vinyasa is implemented by inner strength, by Yin, by allowing, not forcing or striving for some goal. They seemed to feel secure in the predictability of the sequence, in the ‘rules’ of hot. Nobody seemed to hug each other, or hang out sharing the bliss afterward, as they were apt to do in Vinyasa classes. They rushed in at the last minute, looking like someone who was grimly setting out to do an unpleasant job. They got the heck out of that oven the minute they could, as soon as class was over. It was a like a ‘fast food’ gym, done on a yoga mat. No enlightenment please, just here to lose twenty pounds or get in better shape (or maintain a good shape). It could have been hamsters on a yoga treadmill of effort without goals (or without meaningful ones)…or so it seemed at first glance.

Now bear in mind, these were my perceptions, and may not have reflected the actual reality. After all, I didn’t know these people, had no idea what their actual experience was. So I decided to have an experience of my own, find out what the deal was, come to know in the only way truly possible…through my own experience, and through sharing the experiences of others.

Soon the heat didn’t seem quite as bad…or at least it didn’t affect me as much. The pesky sweat coming off me no longer seemed like unwelcome and salty extrusions, but like holy rain. I had figured if I really had joy and peace in my yoga, I should be able to find it anywhere (or in any type of yoga ‘class’)…and did. Soon, the seemingly regimented sequence stopped becoming a limiting box, and became instead a expansive space from which I could find expression and personal growth and movement….while moving in the ‘constraints’ of the practice. Soon, laying in Savasana for fifteen minutes after class was not an ordeal, but a treat, as the room slowly cooled and wisps of cool, fresh air caressed my body as people left the room (and let cool air in).

Soon I found a lovely set of teachers who managed to bring a bit of joy, devotion , introspection, focus, or detachment  into what on the face of it may seem an unimaginative and uninspired sequence/paradigm. Really, they helped (guided) me to bring that bit of joy into it myself, inspired me to bring it, or gave good examples by bringing it themselves. Soon, I was finding as much focus, joy, and peace in hot sequences as I had previously in vinyasa sequences, or in my home practice.

It became really cathartic. Laying in a pool of sweat at the end, I felt drained…of impurities. I had sweated a gallon in an hour (or close, it appeared). I was getting ready to fill myself up with clean, pure water – like a little oil change for my body. Keep those cells filled with fresh water, dontcha know?

So I continued that way for a while until one summer day recently I walked into the studio and my body, mind, and spirit (and thus what seemed like the entire universe) told me it was too hot to do a ‘hot’ at 9AM on what looked to be a blistering day. Thus, I returned once again to my core vinyasa practice.

So there it is…my meager experience of a decade. Hardly much to base any firm judgments on, or reach meaningful conclusions. It was barely enough to skim the surface, to teach me that I truly don’t know, and that there are as many answers and paths as there are (or were ever) people. Still, I like to make observations and comparisons, if nothing else for the pure ‘fun’ of it, or maybe because as a writer and observer, these things come to the surface naturally, like little checkpoints of where I am at the time, like little rough maps of the world I constantly update and refine (and sometimes throw away and start over).

This brings us to the commonalities between hot yoga and Vinyasa yoga (and their adherents, insomuch as they stick to one or the other, which many do). Examining the commonalities is always a pertinent first step before trying to define apparent differences.

Both are a type of yoga, which is aimed at union…union of body, mind, and spirit, and union of individuals with a higher Self within (and which possibly permeates the universe). Union of thought, word, and deed.

Yogis see yoga like a lotus flower, with many petals. The physical practice (at its core defined as hatha yoga) is just one petal. Within this petal are the many fibers of the various physical practices; hot, Vinyasa, Kundalini, yin, traditional hatha, etc. Other petals of yoga are bhakti (devotion, praise, and gratitude), seva (service to others), among many others.

In our commercial-based western society, we perceive these as separate and distinct. We try to find the best petal, and throw the rest of the flower away. Many argue that only devotion, or service, or praise, or meditation, or physical practice is the real yoga. Each tries to create ‘product differentiators’ to show how their brand of yoga is better religion, theology, or exercise. Each tries to develop new ‘products’ (types of or interpretations of …or focus on one of the petals as the best one…to the exclusion of all others. Each yoga ‘product’ is tailored to meet the desires of untapped segments of the ‘market.’ It’s taken a path toward enlightenment (or at least improved control over/acceptance of/union of) body, heart, and mind and turned it into the business of yoga, the marketplace of yoga, a growth industry, a financial cash cow for the merchants who peddle it.

In reality, it is just petals on a flower. Each has something beautiful to offer, each is needed for a complete understand or practice of yoga, each has meaning and value only when taken in context of (and conjunction with) the other petals of the flower. With that said, I will nevertheless try to ‘differentiate’ between ‘products’ as an entertaining and possibly instructive game, or as a way to document my thoughts of today for later review and consideration. Here goes…

First, back to the commonalities. Hot and Vinyasa are both types of physical practice, and thus parts of the same single petal on the flower of yoga. Both rely on the breath to calm and still the mind, to control, relax, and energize the body/mind/spirit complex at various appropriate times. Both help increase physical and neurological well-being. Both bring us together not as athletes or people with some low goal, but as brothers and sisters, as aspirants in a lifelong practice with no definite or even achievable goal. We just point to the light and start walking…or dancing.

Both practices rely on the drishti (calm focus of attention, concentration, consciousness) to facilitate the physical and mental changes going on underneath the surface. In the ‘western world’, both are mostly taught by super-fit young twenty-somethings in tight, fashionable, and expensive yoga clothes.

Both are often praised (or feared) as a sort of cult, religion, tribe apart from the desire-filled, greed-based majority of the world. Both are greatly misunderstood – by yogis and non-yogis alike. Both can better be implemented (acted out or manifested, if you prefer) with gentleness and allowing than with effort or trying. There are so many commonalities, it would take a tome (and has) to begin to describe them all.

The differences is what we Americans generally like, though, what we focus on. Which is better for us? Which will fit our ideas or images of ourselves better, help us lose more weight or get closer to the Divine? I get it, and will play along.

In general, hot yogis seem to love (take sanctuary in) the predictability, in the ostensible regimentation. They seem to like the heat, the sweat, the effort as cathartic, as undeniable indications that they are doing something, going somewhere. They want and get results…now; a pile of sweat and five pounds of water weight (and associated toxins) lost.

Hot yogis seem to be more pragmatic and determined. The might even seem a bit more grim in their seriousness about their practices. They are almost definitely more perfunctory; they show up early, generally stay (and sweat) in the same place day after day, if they can. They take class at the same hour(s) each day, and want the same instructor on that day. Their routines seem to vary little…and they like it that way.

Hot yogis often seem to eschew the potential religious, theological, spiritual aspects of yoga, preferring instead the tangible efforts and rewards of the physical realm. To many, it is just exercise, and they like it like that. They don’t want to be pestered with pesky OMs and spiritual ramblings. They have to get to work soon, and they only have one hour to get down and sweat it out, get their workout in. They don’t want to trouble their mind with new concepts that may conflict with their world views, religious preferences (or lack of them), or whatever. They want it like they want it, and that’s that.

Now of course, trying to generalize people and categorize them is a fool’s errand, one which we authors seem to love engaging in, even though we know it for what it is. Maybe it’s simply fun and passes the time between yoga classes, hikes, and pedaling (or skiing or snowboarding or climbing or riding). But (feeling like the old prejudiced ignoramus who said -back in the bad old days- that all African Americans were lazy, or all Native Americans were drunks), I’ll continue, since I took this thread this far.

Vinyasa yogis seem more about the devotional aspects of the physical practice. They like to invoke the pranavah; to AUM (OM) together, or sing kirtan (songs of praise, often in Sanskrit) and mantras (healing or focusing sounds and vibrations). They seem to dig the variability of various vinyasa flows (sequences). They most definitely seem to like the fact they can flow and they (nor I next to them) gets covered in icky, unsightly (and possibly stinky) sweat.

Yet we yogis are about union. Yoga means union. We are not about division or distinction, not about discrimination or determination. We are about experience, the special intimate inner experience and transformation that only the individual aspirant can know (through their own direct experience, and shared with the experiences of others, without judgment).

While the two ‘types’ of yogis may seem different, in the end they are the same. In the end, their eyes shine and they hug me…and the world. In the end, they experience the almost magical transformation a continued yoga practice eventually brings. And funnt enough, those same dedicated Vinyasa yogis you see at 9AM every day may also be the dedicated ‘hot’ yogis you see at 6AM (or whenever) every day as well. Surprise, surprise.

Maybe we’re all just yogis after all, each on different parts of our personal paths. Maybe you are a yogi as well, even if you don’t practice (for the beginning and pre-beginning are also parts of the path). Maybe we’re all yogis of the sort, inextricably united by the primary engine of yoga…the breath, which we cannot escape sharing with the entire planet. Maybe we are not just 7 billion shipmates on a rock hurtling through space, bnut seven billion yogi shipmates, untied by breath, despite our apparent or ostensible differences, united in spite of them. United. Yoga. Mmmm. AUMmmmmm


‘…and the less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine…’

-The Indigo Girls

(c) 2016, Mark Francis Mullen. All rights reserved. Facebook or no other entity owns or is entitled to unassigned rights to this document. It may be shared for free (with credit given to the author), as defined in applicable international copyright laws. I in no way allow rights to this document by virtue of publishing it on the original ‘blogging website’ or subsequent ‘posts’ or ‘shares’ on Facebook or other social media.
Photo credit Radiance Power Yoga (I’m pretty sure)


life, meditation, yoga

Yoga – The Next Level

Whether in active yoga practice or ordinary’ life, we all eventually reach a point where we plateau, reach a sort of homeostasis or acceptance of our state of development…and possibly stagnate there. Satisfied with our development to this point, we may ‘rest on our laurels’ and stop the ongoing growth that is the essence of life. If this goes on long enough, the trend can change from growth and anabolism to decay and catabolism – physical, mental, and spiritual.

Like strings of a guitar or harp, we need to be tuned regularly, kept in a state of alignment and balance conducive to growth. Like plants, we need the right environment for continued growth. Like humans, we need to be actively interested and participating in life, consciously moving forward on all fronts, or we tend to slowly disengage and begin an inevitable decline, in both will, dreams, and ability.

This is in keeping with the laws of physics and science; bodies at rest tend to stay at rest, and bodies in motion tend to stay in motion. Homeostasis is naturally sought on physical, mental, and spiritual levels. Yet without practice (and the resultant growth), we tend towards entropy, towards dissolution, decay, and chaos. This is the second law of thermodynamics, and a law of yoga and life. Through our practice, through constant mindfulness and growth, we prevent this trend, harness the physical (and other layer) laws that tend to support our growth and practice.

In yoga, this tendency for unconscious self-limitation can be seen on the physical level as placidity in practice, of an acceptance of current, perceived limitations and/or of state of development. I can do a good crow pose, so I make a check in the box in my mind marked ‘crow.’ I then begin to automatically perform the posture, failing to continue to strive for a fuller and more engaged manifestation of the pose. Refinements to the pose (such as one-legged crow, etc.) fall from my mind, as in it I think I already can ‘do’ crow, and there is nothing left to do.

On the mental level, this is also manifest in a similar type of entropy; I meditate regularly, and find content and peace therein. I then fall into the trap of not being present in my meditation, but only in the way I typically ‘perform’ meditation. I am ‘done,’ a successful meditator who can no longer learn anything from the practice. At best, I think I can maintain my state. The idea that there may be new, undiscovered levels of practice eludes me.

The same occurs on the spiritual level. I might believe that I see God in all things and that I maintain an active and harmonious relationship with the Divine, staying tuned in to and constantly practicing Ishvara Pranidhana, gratitude, presence, and non-duality. Once I have manifested all the virtues, my ego tells me that the list is complete, the check marks are all filled in, and there is nothing left to do. In my social life, I may think that I embody compassion and service, and thus limit myself from new potential levels of compassion and service.

An empty cup does not mean only an open mind and heart; it means a continuously new ‘beginner’s mind,’ open to new experience and new levels of growth, understanding, presence, and manifestation.That is the great secret of both yoga practice and life; the journey is never over. We never arrive, never ‘get there.’ There are always new levels of growth, development, and integration possible – if we remain open to them.

The gross is an indication of the subtle. My physical state is a metaphor for the state of my overall being. The lessons I learn on the physical level apply in the mental, spiritual, and social levels. As I limit myself in the physical expression of yoga (‘I could never do lotus pose, or peacock), I express a limitation in my mental self (the perception that those levels of strength, endurance, flexibility, and presence are unavailable to me or inaccessible (or undesirable) to me, due to age, physical limitations, or whatever reason my mind comes up with).

One thing is sure – if I believe these states of being (for yoga postures are more than mere physical attitudes or poses, they represent states of being) are impossible, I will indeed never be able to achieve them. In the wise words of the fictional sage:

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they are yours.”

        -Don Shimoda

So while the gross (my present physical state) may manifest the subtle (my inner state), the subtle also precedes the gross. An idea or possibility must first be born in my mind before it can become manifested in outward ‘reality.’ Yet the mere knowledge that the possibility exists (say of performing peacock posture) is worthless without the practice: the actions necessary to actually manifest this state, to slowly move towards (and perhaps eventually achieve) the state. Without desire and will, no practice is possible. First the possibility must exist, and then the motivation to make that possibility into a reality (or at least proceed towards the goal in a dedicated fashion).

This is where yogic wisdom helps us…in the concept of acting without regard to the fruits of our actions, without attachment to them. We perform the practice faced in the direction of a theoretical goal, yet have no expectations of an end result or specific achievement. The fruits of practice are found along the way, not at some mythical endpoint or destination. You never arrive at the destination. The journey is the destination, and if you are focused on a goal in the future, you will miss the actual journey.

Yet some general goal must be held in mind, some inner compass or direction for our simultaneous and integrated physical, mental, and spiritual development. We all find, or attempt to find this in various ways.

Instead of looking for areas in our lives where we can find new growth, development, or change, perhaps we can look for areas that we think we are ‘done with,’ and look closely to see if we are missing opportunities for new growth and expansion in these areas. Who can truly ever manifest enough kindness, love, and compassion? When do we reach a limit on the amount of service we can give to ourselves and others? Is there and endpoint goal of gratitude or presence, where we are at a state where no more is possible? Can you ever be too strong or flexible, physically or mentally?

Just the idea of such untapped growth potential is exciting and reassuring. The mere idea of so much unexplored and undeveloped space within our physical, mental, and spiritual selves is cause for celebration. For the final frontier is within us, a vast, uncharted region ripe for exploration.  

So the next level of yoga is always before us…and behind us. It is all around us. We proceed not only in one direction along a single plane of reality, but shine and expand outwards, in all possible directions and planes. Growth is possible in all areas of our lives; improvement is possible is all facets of being. Yet this expansion and growth is accomplished more with mindful acceptance than it is with striving. Motivation, effort, and practice are surely needed, general goals are essential. Yet without allowing, performing the actions more out of love than of obligation or seeking, do we find the possibility of continued manifestation and growth.

This growth is not linear and sequential, but flies upward on a curve, like a snowball gaining momentum as it rolls downhill, or a feather as it is borne upward on the wind. As we practice, we are truly borne on these divine winds. As we practice, we develop our wings, that we may be borne more surely on them.

We may fly, but must also flap our wings sometimes to do so. Sometimes we may soar and glide, almost effortlessly. We move between the state, in and out of balance, flying, moving, soaring forward…into the present, into the future, borne on the divine winds of change and the wings of our practice.

AUM, Shanti


: )

cancer, life

An Open Letter to a Friend with Cancer…and the Cancer-Maintenance Industry

Dear One

My heart aches for you and for the fact you will (yet again) be going through chemo-therapy. I am afraid the medical community is using you poorly, poisoning you and giving you pharmaceuticals that ‘prevent’ you from eating the very foods that may help your body cure itself.

I do not have cancer, nor am I a doctor, so I can’t really speak to this issue. I cannot hope to understand your experience, nor to prescribe things only you can decide on. But I would pray that there is some way to release you from this terrible fate (not the cancer, which I am confident can be dealt with naturally, but the fate of being left in the hands of the Illness Maintenance Industry).

I’m no genius, but it seems those people are more in the business of charging you and your insurance company for expensive (and mostly ineffective) treatments than they are concerned with (or in the business of) helping you help your body to cure itself.

I’m afraid they sold you a radioactive nickel that is draining the very life force needed for a cure.

I’m terrified that they used your fear and ignorance to co-opt you into poisoning yourself. I am afraid that they have tried to make themselves the primary decision-makers in your care, taking your liberty, making you their ward, victim, and prisoner.

For some reason, I trust Doctor Max Gerson, flaxseed oil, and turmeric more than organizations designed to keep you dependent on drugs and doctors. I feel these people are vultures using voodoo medicine that everyone who has experienced knows the bad effects of.

I think there is more salvation in organic fruits and vegetables than there is in poisonous radiation. I think that in our misplaced trust of Western ‘medicine,’ we allow disinterested organizations to sell us pharmaceuticals and ‘care-giving’ services, all the associated x-rays and treatments…and charge us dearly for every move, for every time they wipe the sweat off your forehead (the sweat they put there with their poisons).

I am afraid the treatment is worse than the disease. 

I can’t hope to influence you, or to choose for you. But I can choose for myself, and I choose this: if I ever get cancer, I will die naturally, chugging organic juices and going to yoga until the last breath, rather than allow those vultures to give me a ‘treatment’ that the head of the American Cancer Society admits is harmful and of dubious outcome, calling chemo a ‘double-edged sword’ (illness maintenance industry doublespeak for something that rarely helps you but is always killing you).

Any ‘health care system’ that gives me poisonous radiation and drugs that prevent me from eating in a healthy way is hardly concerned over my health, or my care. Only I can give myself that type of care – only you can too. Any industry that (after the poison inevitably fails) shrugs their shoulders and gives me a rest-of-my-life prescription for narcotics to ‘keep me comfortable’ until I die (as they charge me for every assisted breath until then, of course) does not have anything to do with my health.

American Cancer Society…even their name is a giveaway. They are a society dedicated to cancer, not to its cure. They regularly suppress and try to ‘disprove’ emerging and traditional cures, natural cures. They are in the business of cancer, and it is big business. The money of their victims supports the salaries of researchers, oncologists, pharmaceutical companies, countless caregivers, and people who work in the unsurance companies. That’s right, I spelled that like I wanted to..the unsurance companies, for they provide no insurance except the certainty that they’ll bill the hell out of you, and deny most of the care prescribed (or pay a lot less than it costs).

Too much is at stake for these people to find or support a cure for cancer. What would they do then? Where are the profits for insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies if you get better? What would happen if they lost all that money they make from your pain and suffering, suffering they are mostly inducing?

These questions trouble me. I do not speak entirely blindly, for I have done quite a bit of research on this myself, at least review of the data and a clear look at it, without the bias of fear for my life, or uncertainty over cancer may cause me later. I need to know these facts in the most intimate way, in case I ever get cancer, and to prevent me from getting it. All the natural treatments that have been proven to help stage four (end stage) cancer people not only recover but thrive are also good for me and (mostly) taste good. They are a lot cheaper than insurance or chemo.

Undear Cancer Maintenance Industry

You should be ashamed of yourself for what you’ve done to my friend, my fellow humans: how you’ve profited off their pain, suppressed research into naturals, tried to patent those naturals that are proven helpful, and poison people on the off chance that the radiation that is killing them might also kill cancer cells, or result in a remission (the very best you can offer…poison…possibly a small respite…and a chance for more poison.

Shame on you.

Dear People With Cancer

Please at least try these natural cures once they are done poisoning you, and once they have ‘let you off’ the pharmaceuticals they give you that ‘prevent’ you from eating correctly, in a way that might even help you heal or fight off cancer. Please. It will definitely be cheaper to buy a few pieces of organic, non-GMO fruit and vegetables than it would for the next session of poisoning on the off-chance it will help you.

Please at least ask your doctor about natural options, or how they can be incorporated into your treatment. Do some checking, see what’s out there. Watch the Gerson Miracle on Netflix and educate yourself. Consider carefully, and take charge of your own treatment.


Love you all (except the poor misguided ACA, even though I love the people within it).


All These Questions

I have answered the primary questions of life, at least tentatively and to my satisfaction.

Who Am I?

Why am I here?

What should I do?

This still leaves some of the ‘essential’ questions unasked and unanswered:

Is there a God?

What, if anything does God want me to do?

Is there an afterlife?

I could write endless posts on any of these questions, but am more interested in hearing what you have to say about the matter. Not the easy, formulaic and pre-packaged answers of the major religions, not scriptural justifications and validations and ‘proofs,’ but what you yourself think and feel, in your own words. Any of you – all of you.

It doesn’t have to be pretty, or even right. I just has to be in your own words, speaking your own authentic truth.

(Note to self: this applies to you, too)

Those are the answers I’d really like to hear.

: )


The Naked Truth

My truth is transient. My truth is eternal. My truth shines for a moment, like mist clinging to dew. My truth is ephemeral as the breeze, as tangible as a granite cliff. My truth flows and abides. It clings and it evaporates. It permeates everything, every being. It interpenetrates us, connects us at the core.


The common Divinity shines in us all. The Light plays upon us, among us, within us. It is Pure Love, and love is the greatest truth.

The authentic Truth burns in my eyes, in my heart, shines forth from me and you. It is a mandala of beauty. It IS.


Nature unfolds the truth with every breeze. Our hearts unfold the truth with every smile. The arc of a smile is played out in every non-linear expression of Nature, in every note and curve of the Fibonacci sequence, in every ongoing moment of creation.


Truth is the beat, the vital beat that connects us, that moves us. Truth is compassion, and recognition of that connection.


Gaia unfolds truth. She cries out her song in sublime expression, in subtle chaos and convergence.

The truth is all of us breathing the same air, as one…in unison. The truth is the sun that shines on us all, the Light that shines within us all. Truth is NOW, forever realized in this moment.


She enfolds us in her presence. She holds us in her storm-filled arms, brings us to her clover-covered breast.

The truth is not frangible. It exists beyond us. The truth can appear harsh, or beautiful. It is implacable. Truth is the sand mandala that is brushed away, and my tears as it is. Truth is the rock the remains behind.


I unfold truth. It is within me, and uncontainable. You can laugh at my truth, but it remains. You can scoff at me as a yoga fag or yoga bum, but my truth still unfold, unfurls. It blossoms – with or without you.


You are truth.


You are light and beauty. You are fear and failure. You are triumph, and every little victory you achieve. You are all you allow, and all you deny. Truth is You.

Truth is samsara, and it is liberation. Truth is NOW. It contains the truth of all moments.

Truth flows from my pen to your chakras.

Truth is you and I, locked in an eternal, passionate embrace. 


The truth is you and I, miles and eons apart, far and away.

The truth is beyond you and I.

Truth is a baby’s coffin, and a child with a machine gun.

Truth is a baby’s smile, a mother’s laugh.

Truth is scary, and it is beautiful. It is true, all true.


Truth can be so many things, to so many people. It is a million religions, fighting over the love of One God. Truth is the God of Your Understanding, the God only you can know.

Truth is the pranavah, the primal sound of angels singing, of the universe turning, of the sacred syllable AUM.


The Truth is Allah, God, Krishna. Truth is Ishvara, Shiva, anything you can think to call the unnameable. Truth is samsara, the cycle of rebirth. Truth is liberation from that cycle, and the chains of the ego. Truth is beyond all that, behind it, within it. The Truth is pure.


The truth is that I love you.